Futuristic News paper of Tomorrow

Today Humanity has reached a definitive stage in it's development. It is now a full three hundred years since the renamed North American Space Agency first promised a unique planetary body complete with an Earth like artificial Bios-Sphere, to each and every organised group and Religion on Earth in exchange for a permanent and lasting Peace for mankind, the very last group has finally reached it's destination.

That promise, has now been finally fulfilled...

Contact has been made with Dick Head, Hippie leader and commander of the Space vessel Voyager Ganja 1, missing, believed lost with all on board for a period of one hundred years. The ship has now successfully landed and created a new Earth like Bio-sphere a full sixteen Galaxies away from Earth on a new Planetary body the Hippie commune now call Bong.

When asked why the vessel had veered of course by fifteen Galaxies Mr Dick Head replied...

'Hey man we cruised into space and like this voice from the onboard computer said like'... Please state your destination. I was totally blown away, kind of groovy. All I said was... Well dig that baby, a talking PC ... Far out man. Next thing I know we all wake up from the Stasis thing (suspended animation) and we are as far out into Space as we can possibly be... Computers take things so literally man. Cosmic'.

[... End]

Music News

Pete Waterman - Simon Cowell

Record producers, and the sixth hundredth clones of this type. Part of the furniture for just one of many become a pop stars TV shows. Clones of this type were scrapped today for finally running out of entertaining songs, and therefore bringing back the classics of old Earth British swing... The songs of George Formby. Although due to the fact that it was sung by a hip and young female singer, the single When I’m cleaning windows has reached N0 1 in the stellar charts.

[... End]

Earth News

Wind Farm And Solar Energy Power lights up.

Today the President of The United States, Mrs Cynthia Fruttock, hailed the wind farm and solar energy program a success. She said that it had helped greatly to reduce global power shortages, and gave hope to those countries that were suffering from oil shortages.

Speaking on the anniversary of a series of catastrophic natural earth quake disasters that has made the entire middle-east area uninhabitable, and the oil supplies there contaminated from radiation released by damaged, old fashioned nuclear power stations. She also said that the contribution of food aid to all the displaced people of the lands affected would be increased, and hoped that the neighbouring countries would accept the integration of the various populations in a more harmonious manor.

[... End]

News in Brief

Eastenders still going strong.

An old TV show about working class life in London, wins a special award for regurgitation of old story lines used before in the show.

[... End]

Utter fiasco of cloning experiments

Today a series of DNA resuscitation cloning experiments were scrapped. They included one George W Bush, a past USA President. Cancelled, after even the many years of medical advances, this clone could still not string together a full coherent sentence on answering a question without using the terms em, well?, I err?

[... End]

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master of the four keys of time book o j barnes

Master of the four keys of time a novel by O J Barnes